Barney + flo(w)

View Original

Inside the Collective vol. 2 | Lady J

Name: Jessica ‘Lady J’ Bouse (they/them)

Tell the B+F community a bit about yourself and your cosmic imprint:

Virgo sun, Libra rising, Scorpio Moon (same combo as Beyonce), 2/4 Emotional Manifesting Generator with all body centers defined and open head centers. I am a non-binary neurodivergent femme-forward parent.

How long have you been studying your Design? What led you here? 

I have been studying my design since March 2019 when a friend from Russia introduced me to it. Human design (HD) has signaled synchronicity for me in meeting people, feeling a kind of kinship with people who "speak" its language, such as B. As a DIY HD learner who sometimes uses HD to map collaborative teams, I have appreciated B's grounded perspective about HD.

What has been most helpful to learn thus far?

HD has been a helpful frame for me to understand aspects of myself that make me very different from most people. The removed perspective of HD has been instrumental in transmuting tribal and individual karmic roles I inherited into archetypal ones. Working with HD, I can thank and release not-self identities and welcome the true-self archetypes of my purpose. For instance, my consciously defined 59/6 channel, when in line with my true-self purpose, brings about peace with true friendship. Since the 59/6 channel also plays a part in fertility, when I'm in my not-self I can magnetize codependent relationships centered around sex. After 30+ years of this dynamic, HD helped me stop blaming myself for the kinds of relationships I attracted. HD has also helped me to understand why my mind is so incredibly impressionable (undefined head and ajna centers) and helped me to understand how to recognize when my boundaries need attention.

How did you typically work with the Collective?

I am amazed by how dense The Collective is. When I had a scholarship, I didn't use it as much as I wanted because I was still working my way through the 64 keys material. The way B presents the info is an incredibly rich resource that goes beyond the rational explanations I've seen with most HD resources, acting as a bridge to get INTO yourself through the lens of your design. I look forward to rejoining The Collective, and in the meantime I'm loving This is the Space.

How have you integrated Human Design with your family? What has been most helpful in knowing about your partner, kids Design? 

Learning my parents are both projectors, who overworked themselves competing with each other and their kids, and generally living in not-self gives me that detached observer perspective to not take their cruelty personally. Accepting the ways they chose to exhaust themselves to conform to the religion they were born into-- and that I have agency to choose differently-- has helped me release a lot of grief about my childhood.

In my family of choice, knowing each of our profiles and specializations has been helpful in improving our communication. Learning archetypes for our overlaps and differences helps me with perspective-taking and seeing the value of conflict.

Knowing my child is an Initiator//Manifestor with a sacral authority has helped me understand how to help them learn to meet their needs. The emotional authority in me has learned a boundary about second-guessing what they know to be true.

What do you love about yourself that you can see in your chart/Design?

I love using HD roles/specializations to sort through the conflicting priorities that can clash in my mind. I ESPECIALLY love learning about the gate's light/shadow aspects of my roles/specializations/channels:

  • Gate 6: Uniter/Fertility/Mating/Connecting through Intimacy

  • Gate 10: Persuader/Conviction/Exploration

  • Gate 28: Fighter/Fighting Power/Struggle/Stubborn Individuality

  • Gate 37: Negotiator/Sense of Community

  • 71 [Channel 20/34]: Person of Action/Activity/Keep Busy/Charisma

  • 73 [Channel 10/20]: Existentialist/Presence roles

The color iridescent embodies these many facets of who I am, as it represents to me momentous change, and the conviction to fight for a change that unifies us. Iridescent also has a color-changing shadow, making it a great symbol for full-self acceptance. I have developed a visual model for decolonizing//rewilding//un-binary ourselves, as well as several art pieces to convey my perspective. I welcome opportunities to share these visuals with the world where they are valued. [Thanks B!]

What tips might you have for Living Your Design? 

To start, identify your strategy and authority and experiment with basing your choices on these. Then keep practicing what works. My strategy is to respond and my authority is emotional which means, despite all the energy I hold, I need to go easy on initiating. I practice letting opportunities to respond come to me, and once they come, let all my feelings cycle through with their inputs until I am at peace. All of this to say I have been cultivating PATIENCE and stronger anchors within myself.

Outside of your Design what practices do you feel most serve your greater well-being at this time?

Morning: I read the day's page from a daily devotional type book a friend sent "A Deep Breath of Life" I scrape my tongue and take a lion's mane tincture for memory/nerve support and yarrow tincture for boundaries. I take high-potency fish oil, DL-P and GABA. Then I make sure I eat something and do physical activity first. Running up and down the stairs at Mt. Tabor or This is the Space videos are my go-to's! This way my energy gets out through a healthy channel instead of getting stuck inside me and expressing as overthinking. I use my dry brush in the shower (wet brush?) with a tea tree cleanser and at the end of my shower turn it to cold and thank Source for being alive and feeling this BODY.

Midday I have Blue Lotus Chai

Evening: I am reparenting myself and now enjoy going to bed early. I meditate (I have loved Insight Timer or the CHANI app meditations) or do yin/relaxation yoga and set up oil diffusers. I reflect on my day. This year I'm learning about my cycle by doing the Thirteen Moons log. I record how energies felt in a Many Moons planner. Before bed, I anoint my third eye and other chakras as needed with Blue Lotus Oil from here and imagine the emotions from the day composting as I drift off to sleep.

What are you most excited about moving forward? 

I have been in a cocoon of transformation since 2015 when I sustained a traumatic brain injury.It was a blessing in disguise which inadvertently liberated me from the illusion of control I had been grappling with living out toxic gender roles as a wife and mother. In the time since I have gotten divorced, a master's, reclaimed my identity as an artist, and more every day! I am in a deep place of not knowing what is next and trusting the power of love in the universe. I'm excited about the abundance and possibility that my higher self has been navigating me toward manifesting! I'm actively exploring how to share the wisdom I've gained finding joy in these challenging years. My Incarnation cross is about identifying personal responsibility as the basis for functioning communities, building communities that see themselves as part of a greater whole by evaluating how community projects support infrastructure. I'm especially excited about the reparenting that will continue as I teach my 10-year-old child to own themself first while living their purpose.

where can we find you?

https://wildladymouth.com

Portland, OR