morning pages
I’m not gonna lie, I’ve never really been a solid ‘journal-er’…
I tried so hard to be. I even have this coffee table book to try to inspire me… which I LOVE but still hadn’t done the trick. It’s one of those tools I’ve picked up in fits and starts; one I reach for when I’m in crisis or feeling really full but can have a hard time sticking with on the daily. These are the tools that inspire me to stick with it.
the mindbody connection
However, since reading Dr. John Sarno’s work, I’m making a serious intentional effort. I highly recommend his books on repressed emotions especially if you have back/neck/body pain or unexplained physical symptoms that are chronic or tend to move around. We are all storing A LOT and we all handle it differently. Each of our bodies and subconscious minds have different nifty ways of trying to protect us. If only we could just say… no thanks.
Even without physical symptoms, feeling stuck or short fuses; we can all do with some more internal spaciousness.
morning pages
I first attempted regular journaling after reading The Artist’s Way… a great book especially if you’re trying to tap into your creativity. (artist dates are another recommendation from this book I often give to clients).
Morning pages, as she likes to refer to them, are basically 4 pages written out stream of consciousness in the morning. A way to get it all out on the page and start fresh. The idea is to not censor yourself, not check for grammar, not think about what you’re writing or even try to form coherent readable sentences, but to just free form let it flow. It’s meant to be utilitarian, not precious. No fancy journal required.
diving into the subconscious
In The Divided Mind, Dr. Sarno adds an additional element. It is to use our time to dig into what’s living in our unconscious. The painful feelings and anything that may be contributing to them. His view is that we store so much anger on a daily basis, resentments big and small, hurt feelings and strong + subtle emotions.
We can easily build resentment against so many things including those we love. It doesn’t mean we don’t love them. I can feel resentment toward my dog for barking and rattling my nervous system. I know he isn’t doing it on purpose. It’s not his fault. It doesn’t change the fact that it can be irritating. On top of the irritation, I immediately feel ashamed and guilty for feeling that way knowing he’s a sweet innocent creature just being himself and protecting me. It’s said that we don’t really experience anything without feeling judgement or guilt for feeling it. I can feel all these things. I can also repress all these feelings without even realizing.
He tells a story in the book Healing Back Pain about a man who developed elbow pain after taking up tennis for his wife (who love tennis). Turns out, he hates tennis. And while he wanted to do this for his wife, his unconscious was storing away resentful feelings. His body using physical pain to protect him. This is how we get full. Our subconscious mind wants to protect us from all those stored feelings. When we start unpacking them through journaling, we make space.
This also includes bringing awareness to personality traits that can contribute to our internal emotions. Maybe we really want to be liked, supported, valued. Maybe we’re a perfectionist, sensitive to criticism, a people pleaser, feel inferior in some way. The feelings that result from these traits, shadows, limiting beliefs also contribute to our fullness. And often our stuck-ness.
The resentment of life’s pressures and responsibilities (even the ones we typically enjoy), the reliance of our partners and children. When it feels wrong to feel angry. Conscious emotion that we stuffed down because it was inappropriate at the time to express it. Aging and our mortality. The list goes on and on. When we start writing we peel back layers; we move through the outer shells of the Russian doll. We bring the deeper roots into our consciousness. We recognize them. And as we do, we release their hold.
We can do this by writing out daily lists of all the things we can think of that may be influencing us. We may find that sometimes things that angered us/resentments/etc.. don’t immediately come to mind. (Although I have to admit, I haven’t reached that place yet. It’s kind of amazing how much can exist there when we start peeling back layers. Or just go through our day, notice where we’re triggered or feel confronted). If you find not a lot comes to mind for you, then you can free form write until you stumble upon something to dig deeper. Or you can check out some of the prompts in Shadow or in Human Design and write an essay on one trait/limiting belief/shadow that you feel may be of influence- unpacking the emotional depth, getting to the root as much as possible.
Set a timer for 15 minutes each day (or twice a day) and empty out.
Focusing on a particular person or situation
This time rather than more stream of consciousness you focus on a particular person. This could be your partner, an ex, a friend, a stranger who cut you off, someone who looked at you sideways (if it affected you), someone who caused you trauma (if that feels a safe place to travel to), your boss or coworker, etc.. Call someone to mind and, well, go off on them on the page, and by that I simply mean don’t hold anything back. This could be for someone you truly love but maybe you had a disagreement and it’s still residing in your body, or you just don’t feel seen or heard in some way. It can seem completely irrational but that doesn’t mean we’re not holding on. See fixing mind vs. allowing mind in Deconditioning. Say all the things you wish you said and the things you would never say out loud to them or anyone else for that matter, the things you might be ashamed to even think, irrational reactions, all of it, put it on the page. This is a toxic dump.
I recommend typing it out on a blank document and just deleting it afterward. You can also write it out and burn it after (safely). Either way don’t pay attention to if what you’re typing/writing is grammatically correct or even makes sense.
Set a timer for 15-20 minutes and when you’re done delete or burn it and then take a moment to sit, put your feet on the ground, imagine them in front of you and send them light. Visualize both of you being filled up with this light. And close it however feels right for you. Maybe you thank them or wish them well, maybe you cut a cord ( you can find a cord cutting meditation on my IGTV); and send them on their way. Release them. Forgive them if you can and Let go. You can also follow it up with a little Loving Kindness meditation which can also be found on my IGTV. I guarantee you have a person for everyday of the month. For some it may be the same person every time. You can repeat someone until the charge there is gone and you feel finished.
This is an experiment. Get curious. Notice if you feel lighter, if tension releases in your body from letting go. Commit to the process for a month and see what happens.
Positive Aspect Morning pages
I heard about this particular way of journaling through Esther/Abraham Hicks and I really love it. Stream of consciousness writing as well as purging are all good practices. It’s about finding what works for you in a particular moment. Sometimes we really need to vent something out so we can move forward, other times dwelling on the negative like writing about the same issues over and over again keeps us focused on the problem, and isn’t helpful. It can be another way of staying stuck in a loop or default setting.
When it comes to co-creation we want to use mindfulness to constantly keep coming back in our minds to the positive, to source, to high vibration thoughts and we can reach for tools like this, gratitude journaling or abundance journaling which I speak about here to help get us, and keep us, in the vortex. I invite you to try this for 30 days and notice how things shift.
Pick 4 categories of your life like: home, relationships, career and wellness and write 4-5 pages of all of the positive aspects; what do you love about your home, your body, your relationships? Focus on all of the things that are working, that are exactly how you want them to be, feel into it, milk it.
P.M.
When working with this I often check in in the evening to kind of see how I did throughout the day bringing this practice off the page. Was I able to focus on the aspects of my life that I love and are working. For instance, I often think of Freedom as one of the main themes I move toward in my life. I can easily focus on all the ways I’m not there yet but when I started doing the positive aspect writing I realized there are loads of ways in my life currently that I feel free. I can bring these into my day and shift my focus to them anytime I find myself going off on a negative spiral or just to amplify what I want to create more of.
At the end of the day I take note of where I may have veered off, bring mindfulness and awareness if there’s anything I need to process or move through so I can release any negativity, and take note of all the ways my positive aspects were fed throughout the day, similar to the abundance journaling. What were the ways I felt free, abundant, supported, loved, successful, valued etc.. etc.. This helps put me in a positive headspace before bed, and, afterwards can be a good time to daydream about what you want to create and cultivate in the future as you drift off.