Moon IC, Healing + A Roundabout Story

I had my first panic attack home for the holidays at a Christmas church service.

I always followed the Goethe quote quite literally. Leap and the net will appear. I decided halfway through my junior year of high school to graduate early. I decided in the midst of law school applications to pivot and went to work in the NFL. I moved as an adult to four cities having never visited prior. It always worked out. It was an adventure. One I look back at, at the age of 44, and am incredibly grateful for, the lives I’ve lived. And as a 2/4 profile I often, probably, maybe, made things harder on myself than need be. I followed my Aries Moon into impulsive decisions many times before I knew anything about my Emotional Authority.

And home from Los Angeles over two decades ago at a Christmas service with family I had my very first panic attack and thought for sure this was it. I was either dying or totally losing my mind. This was well before a time when people were talking about it and I felt like I was alone and crazy.

On the flight back from Texas to LA I shook uncontrollably and tried to catch my breath. A few sleepless nights and days later a friend showed up at my door, prompted by my worried father, to take me to the doctor for anxiety, depression and suicidal ideations where they, of course, wrote me a couple of prescription scripts and sent me on my way.

Luckily I had incredible insurance working for Twentieth Century Fox at the time and an acupuncturist who had already figuratively saved my life. Little did I know at the time when I started seeing him for severe allergies that the saving would become much more literal.

LA cracked me open in ways I could have never anticipated. It gave me courage. Moving along my local space Sun line called me into more of my authentic truth before I even knew what that was. I started thinking about pathways I had never considered. I left my cushy job to pursue acting which equally lit me on fire and terrified me. I stepped out of boxes. I explored my inner artist. I discovered that who I loved had nothing to do with gender and that there was a whole world of “woo” waiting for me. My twenty something self (with a lot of Mars energy and a defined Heart/Ego) projected a lot of confidence but had deep wounds around worth (Chiron in Taurus) and truly, authentically taking up space.  I had always leapt but now I was stepping in to new versions of myself. I was discovering energy work and that I could have spirituality without religion. I was meditating and reading books like The Jew in the Lotus and The Web That Has No Weaver as I dove deeper into Traditional Chinese Medicine. It was a whole new world and many courses and certifications followed.

Twenty Something Me. The Duck Metaphor comes to mind. I might have looked calm and confident on the surface but below it was a hard paddle.

I did not know anything about Astrocartography at the time. I didn’t know that I was on a Mars line and it was inviting me into more bravery to forge my own path and to go after the life desiring itself known (or that I needed to be intentionally moving some healthy aggression as a result, on the regular - as I write this I’m currently on a liver cleanse but that’s a story for another day).

I also didn’t know that my Moon IC line ran right through eastern China (with my Chiron IC running through Japan as well).

That my new love, obsession and profound connection to Eastern culture to Buddhism and TCM (later to even Reiki + Usui) was written in the stars. That there was a cosmic reason why it felt like coming home. Why it felt so deeply comforting and nourishing. Why Chinese herbs always seemed to work better for me than Western (to this day).

Our Moon IC line has much to offer in the realms of insight and support. And, I want to caveat this by saying no truth is the same for everyone, much depends on your personal natal chart, especially when it comes to relocation. A Taurus Moon Night Chart is going to feel different on a Moon line than a Capricorn Hades Moon Day Chart. And, in general there is a flow (and ebb) to living on Moon lines. The Moon is cyclical. All of that being said Moon lines can feel quite nurturing if you are willing to acknowledge and feel your emotions, to practice good emotional hygiene and intentional self stewardship. They can feel nourishing and support you to tap more deeply into receptivity, to soft power, the Divine Feminine, as well as motherhood and fertility if that’s something you desire. They can feel like belonging.

The Moon IC line in particular can connect you to deep healing, to past lives, to soul food. This is likely one of the major reasons I find so much comfort in Traditional Chinese Medicine. It is home for me, and I don’t need to live there to tap into it. The energy that permeates my body remembers it, feels safety there.

It took nearly a year to mend the damage from the inner eathquake, to repair the dam that was broken by that initial panic attack and subsequent spiral. I had no real tools at that time (outside of my acupuncturist) and was caught in the dark. It had many aftershocks. And it shined a light on the fault line within. Almost ten years later I would be hit by another breakdown that would again rock my world. And, anxiety would become a fairly constant companion for decades.

Both breakdowns set the stage for a journey that would completely alter the course of my life. Most healers, coaches and guides, the ones worth their salt have trudged through the mud. Have transmuted great suffering. Have found pathways through. Alchemized and become better because of it with an ample toolbox to show for it. Our Moon IC is one place we can really look to to find support in this life.

Where is your MOON IC and what can you learn and take from there?

New to AstroCarto, you can find a training with two guided workshops and much written support inside The Collective or grab it a’la carte here. AstroCarto is not just about travel and relocation, we can also harness the power of those energies much like my connection to TCM. You might also enjoy this interview as well as more on my personal journey here. I always recommend creating a little inspo board around your supportive locales. You can find mine here.

And if you’re dealing with anxiety, depression or any mental health condition know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and loads of tools to get you there. It’s just about finding your unique combo. I’m always happy to work with folks around that. Utilizing your Design + Astrology can be so helpful + offer unique and personal guidance specific to you.

More place support around Human Design environment all over the Journal!