love, sex + bonding

entering into a relationship

First and foremost I want to always reiterate that we should never feel limited by our Design. It should always offer us permission to step more into our authenticity and ease in our lives. These are guideposts and we should always follow what feels right for us through listening to our inner guidance system above all else. And, if you would like to lean more into alignment, these are some things to keep in mind.

Consider if you are following your Strategy + Authority when entering into a relationship. Are you listening to your body and your intuition or acting from your mind?

Are you slowing down and taking the time to respond to what really feels right according to your Authority (Generator + MG)?
Are you loving up on yourself, putting yourself out there so that you are visible + feeling recognized (Projector) or are you trying to initiate?
Are you allowing yourself to initiate as a female Manifestor in a world where we are conditioned by Disney movies to take a back seat?
Are you paying real attention to how your body feels around that person and taking time to bounce the ideas and feels off of your trusty sidekicks to form your OWN opinion (Reflector)?

Consider your Profile in relationship to love + partnership. For example, if you are a 1 line… do you feel you have a solid foundation when entering into this relationship? If you are a 4 line keep in mind, and stay open to, the fact that it is most likely your best relationships will come to you through your community.

the love gates

One of the biggest gains, I think, from Human Design is being able to bring awareness to our patterns… those that work for us and those that don’t. Simple awareness can create shifts before we even do any work or contemplation around it. This is why The Meeting Ground is my favorite place to hang out when it comes to my Design. Unpacking those patterns is the secret sauce for me. And getting to know our defined gates through this prism (high + low/not self) is just another way we can lean into greater awareness when it comes to our love life. You can explore these Gates more deeply here.

TRANSCENDENT LOVE | IMPERSONAL

Gate 25 | Universal Love - the love of being + towards everything, the spirit of the self, loving without discrimination, can be cold as in I love you as much as I love ice cream kinda vibe.. it truly is Universal

Gate 15 | Love of Humanity - love of the full spectrum of being, for the diversity of expression and experience

Gate 46 | Love of the Body - recognizing the beauty of the vessel and each ones uniqueness, the body as a temple to be nourished and worshipped
*success can be tied to this. To the physical body being in the right place at the right time because of a natural alignment.

Gate 10 | Love of Being Alive + Self Love - loving one self and the world as it is, accepting the world as it is, a surrender to the impermanence + precariousness of life.
*This is also a personal love gate which can feel confusing.

PERSONAL “earthbound” LOVE

Gate 10 | Self Love - Finding love of self through being loved by someone else.
Not Self - Self love vs. self hate polarity, can be aloof, self-absorbed, melancholic.

Gate 44 | Successful Love - Finding love through the material, success, talents, power couples.
*Not self - “loving” someone for money.

Gate 40 | Earning Love - Finding love through earning appreciation, loving your work and having your work support the people you love, willpower is driven by love.
*Not self - out of reciprocity

Gate 58 | Perfecting Love - Creating love by moving through challenge, proving the love and its strength, joyful love.
*Not self - highly critical as you try to make it/them perfect.

Gate 41 | Dreams of Love - Love through fantasy + sexual/new experiences Adrenalized pressure (Root) to really take action on fantasies.

Gate 28 | Love with Purpose - Love tied to finding purpose, theme of romance, the Romeo + Juliet. Overcoming struggle to find purpose together while maintaining individuality. Accepting the struggle is part of the love.
*Not Self - depression

Gate 55 | Externally Indecisive Love - Unrequited love or mysterious love that isn’t sure it’s love. Fickle.. can’t make up its mind kind of love. Also the muse.
*Not Self - unhealthy distrust.

Most folks will have one if not a few of these Gates defined. But even if you have none of them, this does not mean you do not have access to these energies. We all have access to ALL of the energies which is why it’s great to study our chart AND to read the other lines or about a Gate that calls to you because we are here to learn the most from the places that we have OPEN and we are forever seeking that wisdom in others definition and through the transits.

If you have the Gate defined then you will experience it in a very fixed way and you will most likely look for/be attracted to folks with the Gate on the other side to create the full channel together.

That being said, the Open ones are the places where we are still receptive to this energy AND we get to have flexibility in how we experience it. We get to play in all the nuance and subtlety when we are in the Aura of someone who has it and when we are transiting through that energy.

It is also very interesting to look at the Gates that you might have defined on the other end of these Gates. For instance if you do not have Gate 15, the Gate of Loving Humanity, do you have Gate 5? This can tell you what energy you may be attracting to you. You might be particularly drawn to folks with Gate 15, to that flavor of love.

These would be Gates: 57, 34, 5, 29, 51, 26, 38, 18, 30, 39 and 37… meaning you have this Gate defined with the Love Gate on the other side open, magnetizing that kind of love to you.

*When we have a Love Gate defined in an open center we may feel a stronger connection when we attract someone with the opposite gate than if we had that same Gate activated from a defined center. The love is still present it just may not be as intensely felt.

bonding strategies

Our bonding strategies, how we create intimacy, are based on THE MATING CHANNEL (the 59-6) whether you have this Channel defined in your bodygraph or not. If you do have the Channel or one of the Gates defined (either 59 or 6) that energy will take precedence in how you bond but these lines will still add flavor as a secondary placement. Either way you will look at the lines of your PROFILE. So, if you are a 2/4 like me you would read the 2’s and 4’s and know that that is kind of the soup of your bonding strategy.

Sexuality themes of Gate 59:

Line 1 - the role of pursuer / pursued

Line 2 the role of shyness / boldness

Line 3 the role of bonds made or broken

Line 4 the role of confidante or not

Line 5 the role of seducer /seduced

Line 6 the role of soul mate or no

The Waves of Resonance of Gate 6:

Line 1 - the wave of weakness (dominance) / strength (submission)

Line 2 - the wave of advance / withdrawal

Line 3 - the wave of allegiance / rejection

Line 4 - the wave of kindness / meanness

Line 5 - the wave of selflessness / selfishness

Line 6 the wave of sympathy / apathy

These energies are not static. You are not one or the other. We are always moving and fluctuating through the binaries and combinations based on your profile. We are flexible and it would be unhealthy to identify with one extreme or the other.

sexuality streams

Gate 35 | Sexual boredom. Experience. Stay/Leave.
Voices of Kundalini Sex
You make me feel good/bad because you
Line 1: Reject/Accept Me
Line 2: Inspire/Bore Me
Line 3: Adore/Ignore Me
Line 4: Try/Can’t Satisfy Me
Line 5: Risk/Regret Me
Line 6: Correct/Compare Me

Gate 12 | Romanticism. Caution vs. Abandon. Happy/Sad.
Voices of Emotional Sex
I am Happy/Sad being:
1. Alone
2. Selective
3. Limited
4. Cautious
5. Strange
6. Different

Gate 36 | Sexual Crisis. Inexperience. Enter/Exit.
Gate 22 | Attentiveness. Infatuation. Laugh/Cry
Gatte 37 | Sexual Affection. Cuddling. Honor/Betray.
Gate 6 | Builder - Generates Wave
Gate 49 | Sexual Principles. Demanding Obedience. Marry/Divorce
Gate 30 | Sexual Feelings. Yearning. Feel/Burn
Gate 41 | Sexual Hunger. Fantasy. Love/Hate
Gate 39 | Needing Sexual Attention. Teasing. Live/Die.
Gate 19 | Sexual Resources. Flirtation. Obey/Ignore.
Gate 59 | Genetic Imperative - Role of Bonding
Gate 40 | Sexual Denial. Masturbation. Love/Hate

Individual Emotional Sex: Stream of Romance
Channel of “Making Music” 22/12
Channel of Stimulation 39/55

Collective Kundalini Sex: Stream of Excitement
Channel of Desire 41/30
Channel of Sexual Talent 36/35

Tribal Ego Sex: Stream of Marriage
Channel of The Marriage Contract 37/40
Channel of the Bride and/or Groom 19/49

supporting the profiles

THE 1 | 3

• give them reasons to trust you, do not ever lie to them

• cultivate feelings of safety + secure foundations

• don’t blame or shame them their mistakes as they are figuring it all out through trial and error

• help them to see what they learn from challenging experiences

• give them positive reinforcement

• encourage them to try things as well as step into places of authority

• don’t judge them for the research they may need to feel safe, encourage them to investigate

• encourage them to speak their truth

• let them control their environment as much as possible

the 1 | 4

• encourage them to cultivate a healthy and resonant network through their Strategy + Authority, and to look there for the correct opportunities

• encourage them not to leave something (like a job) without another in place

• help them build solid foundations

• remind them to take time away from community to recharge

• do not lie to them, ever

• be patient as you gently coax their armor down and invite them to open their hearts

• show them you appreciate them

• physical touch + reassurance

• have their back

• make friends with them first

the 2 | 4

• don’t interrupt them when they are focused on something, in their own world

• honor their vacillations from extrovert to introvert, joyful to moody

• help them process anger in healthy ways

• make sure you give reciprocity, 2/4’s can burn out on giving all the time without being supported in return, make sure their needs are as important as yours

• show them you value + appreciate them

• honor their need for space + solitude

• encourage them to lean on resonant networks and turn to them for correct opportunities, found through following their Strategy + Authority

• make friends with them first

the 2 | 5

• initiate with them, and be willing to push through their initial shyness

• mean what you say

• appreciate and recognize them for who they truly are

• be their sounding board and help them build confidence

• be patient as you gently invite them to let you in

• respect their boundaries

• honor their need for solitude

The 3 | 5

• remind them see the lessons in their “missteps”

• be mindful of the projections you place on them

• really see them

• offer them positive reinforcement + also a reality check now and then to keep them grounded

• be their source of light, make them laugh

• don’t expect them to always be the fixer

• be willing to go big to follow dreams

• be grateful to be chosen by this HIGHLY selective individual ;)

the 3 | 6

• recognize them for the deep wisdom they carry (especially in their latter years)

• support their visions + dreams and help them to remember to not get lost in them but to take action

• be someone they can trust

• give them s p a c e

• don’t try to control them

• remind them to see the lessons in their “missteps”, that their challenging experiences are often their most profound, that they are here to guide them

• encourage them to follow their Strategy + Authority to enter into the correct experiences

the 4 | 6

• don't be fooled by their sometimes deceptive invulnerability, give them lots of love

• try not to take it personally if they lash out, know it comes from feeling hurt

• let them be right sometimes, most times ;)

• treat them with tenderness

• encourage them to lean on resonant networks and turn to them for correct opportunities, found through following their Strategy + Authority

• remind them to see the lessons in their “missteps”, that their challenging experiences are often their most profound, that they are here to guide them

• don’t break their trust

the 4 | 1

• offer them unconditional love + acceptance

• encourage them to be exactly who they are

• build your relationship on a foundation of friendship

• be someone they can trust

• don’t try to force them in other directions

• let them do the research they need to feel secure

• encourage them to lean on resonant networks and turn to them for correct opportunities, found through following their Strategy + Authority

the 5 | 1

• help them ground the relationship in truth, into deeper connection

• be mindful of the projections you place on them

• know that they need you too

• be mindful of co-dependency

• offer them gentle healthy reality checks when needed

• let them do the research they need to feel secure

the 5 | 2

• honor their need for solitude

• avoid pressuring or trying to control them

• be patient with getting in there (getting their guard down)

• be willing to go with the flow, they will keep you on your toes

• reassure them + appreciate them (their truth, not projections)

• enjoy their balance of extrovert and introvert

the 6 | 2

• keep the relationship fresh + interesting

• be willing to grow and expand with them

• surprise them

• remind them to see the lessons in their “missteps”, that their challenging experiences are often their most profound, that they are here to guide them

• acknowledge their wisdom

• honor their need for solitude

• be someone they can trust

the 6 | 3

• help them embrace the chaos, and flow

• remind them to see the lessons in their “missteps”, that their challenging experiences are often their most profound, that they are here to guide them

• be willing to break away when needed to come back together stronger, to have ‘unconventional’ relationships

• cultivate freedom

• grow together, keep leveling up, having new experiences, etc..

• meet them on a spiritual level