decondition + rewire
clearing the interference
“We need to keep in mind how fluid and multidimensional feelings are. Just like an ocean can be pounding the beach with waves yet be perfectly calm at its depths, our feelings may look destructive, or inappropriate, or negative, when really they are expressions of something incredibly hopeful coming from deep within us. ”
There are several practices here for deconditioning, emptying out, rewiring, aligning and transmuting Shadows. Experiment and find what resonates with you. These take you into the somatics of deconditioning, so that we are expansing beyond contemplation. Though contemplation is key, because as Rudd says, when we embrace the Shadow, we release the Gift. These practices will help you take your deconditioning practice past the thinking mind. One of my other favorite tools for deconditioning, not addressed here, is frequency.
breathwork
Breathwork is much like an active inquiry meditation. The prompts I’m offering you throughout are not for you to figure out with your mind. Let them drop down like stones into the waters of your Subconscious. Your body, your breath, your Higher Self has the answers. Go along for the ride.
Learn more about Breathwork here. The 21 Day Journey here.
Optional playlists linked below including a long form lyric free option. Mix and match, make your own, go without. Experiment!
11 min. playlists: vol i., vol ii., vol iii., short lyric free
Playlist: Struggle to Perseverance
Playlist: Contraction to Expansion
Playlist: Ego to Aspiration
Try doing this one in silence or lyric free.
Playlist: Balance
dropping in
The Meditation
This is a foundational meditation for getting into Alpha + Theta brain waves so we can more easily affect change in our outer reality.
To do just the Countdown Deepening Exercise:
Do the 3, 2, 1 countdown.
And then countdown from 100 to 1, or 50 to 1, or 10 to 1 whatever feels right for you.
Once at this deeper level of mind you can recite affirmations you want to program daily. A couple of great ones you can always do are: “Every day in every way, I’m getting better, better and better”. And, “negative thoughts and suggestions have no power over me at this level of the mind or any other level”.
Then simply count yourself out when ready 1 to 5.
addictions meditation
This is one of my favorites for habituation, repetitive thoughts, old habits, shadows, Not Self, limiting beliefs + rewiring patterns. This is a kundalini practice. And I do it every day for 3 minutes. It is an incredibly powerful ally in clearing stagnation and low thought patterns and foundational for most who practice Sadhana.
Sit in a comfortable seat. Bring your thumbs to your temples, elbows out wide, and curl your fingertips into the pads of your hands at the base of your fingers, gently (not clinched). Turn your gaze up to your third eye.
Keep an easy natural breath through your nose as you chant in your mind Sa, Ta, Na, Ma (on repeat). With each sound press your back molars together. You don’t need to give yourself TMJ, just squeeze them gently, but enough that you can feel movement underneath your thumbs (at your temples). Keep your shoulders nice and soft. You can think of something specific you want to rewire or just hold the intention for what doesn’t serve your highest good.
To finish take a deep inhale and hold continuing to focus your closed eyes toward your third eye locking in the frequency. Exhale to relax.
Do this for 3 or 11 minutes daily for 40 days and watch what shifts.
I love Insight Timer for timing my meditation (especially for longer sits) but you can use any (even just google timer).
You can find this meditation in my IG Highlights. Wanna take it next level? Pair it with Fists of Anger.
A GUIDED PRACTICE
I recommend lying down for the practice when possible and placing a small rolled blanket or towel or a pillow to support your head and neck and a big pillow or bolster under your knees to raise your ankles off the floor to help down regulate your Nervous System. Take slow deep breaths through your nose.
I always cover my eyes with a handkerchief (or if I’m bring honest whatever’s close… the sleeve of a sweater :) especially if it’s daylight out when you’re practicing.
EFT FOR REWIRING
“He who cannot change the fabric of his thoughts will never be able to change reality and will never therefore make any progress.”
REINFORCING IN YOUR LIFE
Think about how you can bring this into your day to day to support your repatterining. When you recognize that you may be taking something on through an Open Center, take a pause, check in and ask yourself. If so then see if the energy is something you want to play in. With, for example, an Open Solar Plexus you are vulnerable to absorbing the grief of those around you, but, you are also open to experiencing their joy. If it’s an energy you want to experiment or play in, allow yourself to do just that, play. Ride the wave. Be a filter. If it’s not something you want to be experiencing look for ways to cut that cord, even if it means stepping out of the aura because the emotions/experience is too intense. There are loads of tools in Boundaries for clearer energetic autonomy.
If you recognize a Shadow, take the opportunity to explore the gifts and/or the opposite expression and then choose to focus on that, to amplify it, to really receive the high vibrations. Rest in gratitude for the gifts. When you experience the low vibration (shadow story), redirect and choose thoughts associated with the next best feeling.
For example; if you have a shadow or Not Self energy around recognition, imposter syndrome, lack of confidence, etc.. The gift in this may be that you are discerning, that you check yourself, that you REALLY care otherwise you wouldn’t even think about it. Maybe your preferred experience is to stand in your confidence, to not play the victim, to feel recognized. And although you often feel a lack of support, or feeling valued in the way you want; when you really look you realize you are taking all of the negative to reinforce your story/shadow and ignoring the ways in which you do feel your preferred experience.
Spend some time deconditioning through the guided audio, meditation and/or EFT (as long as it takes - 40 days is great start for shifting deep grooves) while simultaneously choosing to shift your focus to all of the ways you do feel your preferred experience and amplifying those feelings, really feeling into them, breathing them into your being, marinating in them. And when you notice old thought patterns creeping in, redirect immediately.
NAMING PRACTICE
Sit comfortably in an upright position. Either on the floor with legs crossed and a nice upright spine or in a chair with feet flat on the floor. Once you’ve read through this, close your eyes if that’s comfortable for you or cast your gaze down toward the floor. Breathe normally and begin to name your breath, as you inhale - think “inhale. As you exhale- think “exhale”; or “breathing in”, “breathing out”. Saying the words gently to yourself in the back of your mind. Maybe the first time (or few times you do this), you only focus on this. Set a timer for 5, 10, 20 minutes and just be with your breath. This is my favorite timer because you can set interval bells in case you get tangled up in thought to bring you back.
Then start to notice sensation; softly labeling it in the back of your mind. ‘Heaviness, sleepiness, tingling, aching, itching, heat. Noticing the sensations as they come up and giving them a name. A lot of times in meditation we work on taking labels off but this is a time when we’re using them to eventually facilitate bringing our shadows to our conscious mind. Maybe you notice your senses; ‘hearing, feeling, smelling…’
Then begin to name feelings (don’t overthink the naming, keep it simple) as they arise; 'anger, frustration, fear, sadness, irritation, envy, self criticism, doubt…’. As they come up continue to gently label them; sadness, sadness, sadness until they pass through or become something else. As you put a name to them also breathe into them and really feel them. Give 95% of your attention to feeling them and the other five to softly naming. Focusing on whatever is most prominent at any given moment.
When the sensation or feeling passes return to naming the breath until something else comes up.
Practice this daily and then start to bring this practice into your life using it as a tool for mindfulness and for noticing when your shadows or Not Self are present. If you’re scrolling through Instagram and you start to feel jealousy, name it. If you’re talking to your partner and you start to feel anger, name it. If you leave a friend knowing you just took on their grief, name it. When you feel judgmental, bored, needy, grasping, attached; name it. AND FEEL IT!!! Even if it means you excuse yourself to the bathroom to feel into it for several breaths until it starts to change. Feel where it lives in your body. Bring your breath there with softness, curiosity, ease; invitation to transform through your somatic experience of really being with how you feel.
Set a timer on your phone if you need to and every time it goes off check in and see what you’re experiencing. If you start to notice that you’re feeling triggered a lot by someones behavior. Note it. And dig a little deeper. What is it confronting in you? Why? What’s underneath that?
align
Daily A.M. Exercise
As you release old habits, patterns, limiting beliefs, emotions and Not Self energy that is keeping you stuck and holding you back… who will you be? How will you react? What might you accomplish with out this thing keeping you small?
Write out affirmations reflecting this; letting them flow each morning for 5-10 minutes. Focus on what you can believe, small stretches. You don’t need a fancy new journal (though you can get one if it feels good).
Here are some examples:
When I feel worthy…
My healthy boundaries result in…
When I feel safe in my body…
When I breathe into the space before I react I…
I am grateful for…
Loving myself creates more…
Today I focus on _____ to step into my most magnificent self.
When I connect to my higher self I…
When I embrace ease, I experience magic…
When I rewrite my story…
Write about the you who feels worthy, who forgives themself, who forgives others, who stands in their power, who has healthy boundaries, who takes up space, who is abundant who feels good, who feels free. The you that is limitless.
Riff off your affirmations. Get lost a bit in the world you imagine. Notice which ones you can get on board with. ‘When I feel abundant’ can land much differently than ‘I feel abundant’. ‘When I’ gives us a minute to catch up to the belief through being open to the possibility.